A voice of my own
by MichaelR
Summary: Things will never be the same for Santana, Kurt and Blaine. And their decisions will affect the Glee Club as a whole. Violence, hurt - being yourself is hard. But never forget, that you through it all, you always have A Voice of your Own.
1. Ground 0

**SO I know this is kind of short but I have so many ideas and … yeah. Inspiration just kind of hit me right in the face. So first I thought I'd get some feedback to see if I should carry on or not. Hope you like it :D**

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><p><strong>Ground 0<strong>

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><p>Santana threw the door open and ran through the hallway of the hospital entrance, her hands covered in blood. As she tried to breathe out the words, she felt her lips going numb. Her legs were shaking and growing weak for every step she took. She fought to keep her head up, trying to focus her eyes on something still; but for every effort she made, her body seemed to be leaving her until she could hardly stand up anymore. Voices, sounds, shapes – all slowly fading out until nothing. Nothing at all.<p>

Kurt sat by himself on the bench by the McKinley High parking lot. There was a light breeze blowing through town and things simply didn't feel the same. It wasn't fear, nor worry – it was shame. Kurt sat by himself in shame; holding in the heavy weight growing in the depth of his stomach. Things weren't finished and he needed to be ready for a whole lot worse. People still didn't know and eventually they'd find out.

Blaine was feeling a lot of mixed feelings, but at that precise moment he was scared someone might spot him. One book after the other, he kept emptying his locker – shoving the books down his bag. He grabbed his emergency hairspray and ripped down the picture of Kurt. It wasn't until he finally kicked the locker closed that Rachel walked up to him;

"Blaine! I'm glad to see you – I think you'll find I've come up with a terrific assortment of duets I thought you might want to look at? What with your manly and appealing sense of charismatic embellishment of Broadway classics and my unique performing talent; I really do think we ought to be working a lot more together don't you think?"

"Rachel I don't really have time right now … I really have to …" before he could finish his sentence he dropped the last book onto the floor, releasing a large bunch of papers across the hallway floor. Rachel smiled at him and got down on her knees "Let me help you with those …" Blaine dropped to the ground and tried to assemble them all "No, Rachel – it's fine. I'll do it. I just … I'm in a hurry" – "For what?" – "… nothing … something at home"

Mercedes walked down the hallway and came to a halt, starring down at Blaine and Rachel picking up papers. She stood there for a moment with a flair of superiority; "Do you guys need some help with those?" Blaine looked up with a scared look across his face "No, no no it's fine. I've got it thanks. Rachel, really, I'm fine". Brittany came strutting from around the corner "Oh; guys! Do you know where Santana is? She's not picking up her cellphone. And before you ask; yes. I already called the police station and they told me Voldemort's army isn't a threat so … I'd be worried if I were you … just saying …"

Blaine's subtle exit was turning out to be a complete and utter fail as everyone began speaking in every direction and the pressure of leaving was burning in his chest. "Blaine!" - Shuester screamed from across the hallway - "In my office" The order was sharp and to the point.

The glee kids fell silent and confused … and this time - it was fear.


	2. Whisper I love you

**Still a bit short I know x) The plot is kind of complicated so I'm giving you guys it piece by piece. Hope you're as excited as I am - there's a lot of twists to this fanfic so ... expect the most ^_^ Hope you like it (:**

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><p><strong>Whisper I love you<strong>

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><p><strong>12 hours earlier …<strong>

The library had fallen completely silent … Santana got up and wasn't sure what to do anymore. She starred into Brittany's eyes – those beautiful, beautiful eyes … completely unaware of the reality around her; so free and honest. Brittany meant the whole world to Santana, who now didn't know what to do anymore because as much as she hurt, she knew Brittany just … didn't realize. "… Santana … did you just … did you just say that you …" Santana took a heavy sight, trying to hold in the tiers - "Brittany I'm fine. It's nothing. Just … I have to go. I promised my mom I would help her with dinner today …"

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><p><strong>12 hours later …<strong>

Sue threw the hospital doors open and paced herself up to the counter where she found herself standing before the intern talking on the phone. "I'm here to attend to Santana Lopez – I was her …" she grasped for air - "I was down as her emergency contact" The young blonde sitting behind the counter held up a finger for Sue to wait, giggling into the phone. Sue might have been, contextually, somewhat emotionally confused – but she had standards.

She bend forward over the counter and grabbed the phone from the girls hand and hung up. "Listen Britney Spears, I do understand the coolness you must be radiating standing behind a counter talking to under-aged doctors who've seen way too many sitcoms during their childhoods and who may, or may not be relevantly qualified – much like you. In the meantime, I'm in something of a hurry and I was wondering if you could possibly find out how I can get to Santana Lopez - could you do that for me Barbie?"

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><p><strong>2 hours earlier ...<strong>

Kurt walked as fast as he possibly could. He felt dirty; he felt un-pure and violated. He knew this would be a passing feeling but he couldn't help but carry this heavy wait at the bottom of his gut that reminded him, for every step he took, of the humiliation. He looked around and couldn't recognize the buildings – the sky was falling darker by the minute and you could already hear the street lamps slowly turning on, buzzing the electric course through the entire street. As he tightly pressed his bag over his shoulder, nervous of getting lost, he could hear the screams of Dave Karofsky calling his name behind him –

"Kurt! KURT! STOP! I'll … I'll drive you home … you'll get lost!"

Kurt came to a complete halt and turned around. On a mixture of adrenaline and genuine hurt he felt his stomach turning and he began pacing towards Dave who'd come to a halt a bit further behind him. He walked with a thousand emotions struck across his face, but he walked decisively non-the-less. All the way up to Dave. They starred into each others eyes for a moment. Silence filling the space between them. Just a long lasting moment of complete and utter silence during which they seemed to say so much, yet so little. A moment of full disclosure and complete honesty. And then Kurt slapped him. He slapped him with all he had.

"You have tormented me, you have physically and emotionally attacked me. You have made my high school years a living hell; you've thrown eggs at my house and tagged my locker. You've spit at my food in the cafeteria and you've scratched the surface of my car. You've embarrassed me in front of the entire student body and made me the laughing stock of the entire school. But never, NEVER … have you ever made me feel so humiliated. Never, in my life, have I ever felt so … dishonored …"

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><p><strong>24 hours earlier …<strong>

"And … here is your double cappuccino …" The guy hand the cup over the counter to Kurt who grabbed it with a smile and a swift thank you. Getting coffee at the shop around the corner from school was a must if Kurt was stay awake through algebra … He threw his wallet into his bag after paying and then turned around only to bump right into someone, making his cup spill and his bag fall open on the ground. "Oh shit – I'm so so sorry" – he fell to the floor, picking up his phone and IPod and shoving them down his bag. He got up again, mentally preparing his speech of apology for spilling his coffee.

He looked up, about to speak but fell short of breath. "Hey Kurt …" Dave looked at him with a smile. "… bad day?" Dave giggled and tried washing some of the coffee off his jumper … "It's fine, don't worry about it …" Kurt smiled. Dave looked at him, waiting for Kurt to speak.


	3. Decisions We Made

**Woaa, I haven't posted a chapter to this story since 2011! But I re-read it after getting some more reviews, and I really have to finish what I started here. Keep in mind this is old, as in – waaaay before the glee kids even graduated McKinley. Back when they were still genuine losers, and before the glammed up the whole show. Please drop me a line in the review sections ^^ **

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><p><strong>Decisions We Made<strong>

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><p><strong>22 hours earlier …<strong>

Everyone does it – when you spot an old friend or acquaintance walking towards you on the sidewalk, or standing a few meters ahead of you in a line for coffee. Everyone would look away, or find sudden fascination in typing something extremely absorbing and distracting onto their phone. Anything to avoid that awkward encounter. But when Kurt met Dave, things seemed somewhat different than they'd expected.

It had been 2 hours already – or two minutes, Kurt wasn't sure – that he had accidentally spilled his coffee all over Dave. And still, there they were, chatting away about current events, people and their own lives. "I don't know Kurt, I guess maybe I spend too much time looking at myself through my parents eyes … it's hard not to" – "I know what you mean, I'm an only kid and my mother died so my dad looks at me like I'm the only remaining thing that might succeed in his life" Kurt took a slight breathe in, feeling like he might've crossed a line just then. "No, I mean … my father has his business and stuff, I'm being too harsh. He's doing a …" – "No don't. I mean. You don't have to … be careful of what you say. Not around me, please. It's fine."

Everyone does it – but this time, Kurt was coming around to this meet-cute at a sharp turn.

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><p><strong>22 hours earlier …<strong>

Santana starred into her mirror for a long time. The two of them had made a decision, and in less than 24 hours things were going to be completely different. She felt scared, like she was walking into something she might regret. But then again – she won't be able to regret it, will she?

There was a loud series of bangs against the bathroom door that startled her to the bone. "GET THE HELL OUT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE? YOU AIN'T GOT NO CHANCES OF WASHING ALL O' THAT SLUTTY OFF OF YOU. GET OUT!"

She would have shouted back normally, she would've banged the door harder and put up a fight. But today – Santana didn't have it in her. It was all going to be over soon …

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><p><strong>Present …<strong>

Shuester took a seat behind his desk as Blaine made his way into his office. "Mr. Shuester, it isn't true. I promise you, I know what it looked like, but I didn't do anything. I just happened to …" – "Blaine. Please …" The boy fell silent, and simply sat down slowly, trying to keep in the tiers that were burning to come out.

"Alright, Blaine. Start from the beginning …" – "I. I … ehm … I got a call from an old friend, Sarah. She … she saw …"

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><p><strong>12 hours later …<strong>

Sue stood in her doorway. Silent.

She hated hospitals. She always had, and probably always will. Since her sister had first been admitted, to this exact moment. She hated the way doctors spoke to her absent-mindedly, like they had something better or more urgent to do. She hated how everything smelled neutral and the same. She hated the sweet smile of pity on the faces of every single bimbo nurse. She hated everything about hospitals.

"You! Yeah, you, Blondie. No, not you, the one with the pornographic chest. Yeah, you – bring me a chair. Now" The nurse looked a bit confused, but hurried to go fetch a chair.

Sue stepped inside, and went to stand by Santana's bed. She grabbed her hand.

The wrists were wrapped entirely in white cotton bandaid.


End file.
